Okay, so here I am trying to get better from my hip surgery performed 4 days ago, now 2 days out of the hospital. I'm trying to do all the things I'm supposed to do like put weight on it, OUCH, move around, OUCH, do excercises in bed, OUCH, lie in bed really still, OUCH, sit up for only 45 minutes at a time, OUCH. You get the idea: OUCH. Now I knew from the start that it would hurt, this is round two for the old right hip after all. I'm no hip replacement virgin, but after 17 years, I kind of forgot.
The first 5 years after the initial partial hip replacement surgery were like prolonged recovery, it hurt physically and emotionally, but got better. I was young for this type of thing after all, 35 years old. I got used to the limitations imposed on me physically. Like no basketball (everyone on my team gave me a party they were so happy). No tennis (I always wanted to play). No running (I loved running, physically, too). In short, no sharp sudden pressure on the hip or quick lateral movements. So the first 5 years I milked the limitations for all it was worth. Of course, all good things come to an end. Then came the next 8 years or so. Barely any pain or discomfort, settled into a nice non-impact life. Not very remarkable really, often had to remind myself (then quickly, others within earshot) of my hip situation. Got some sympathy but given grudgingly, since I was basically symptom free.
Then what started the ball joint rolling again, pain, intermittent at first, then becoming more common, persistent and sharp. My cartilage was all but gone. This was all happening the last 4 years or so. Not that I knew it, symptom wise. It was only since the end of last year with the return of the pain did I resolve to go finish the job (see previous post: Raison D'etre). Given that at the time, there was no real rush, I postponed it for several months, making it fit my work schedule. Mistake. While waiting the pain got progressively worse and more frequent. I found myself limping painfully everywhere. People noticed. Then God laughed. One month before the surgery I was practically pain free. I think my mobility decreased but I was almost pain free. How's that for being pain jerked around?
I have learned at least one thing. I am sure my sense of humor, however meager, has grown out of the suffering I've endured. I'm not referring to all the pain drugs and alcohol that could loosen me up to belch witticisms to all and sundry. And I don't mean that my trials and tribulations have honed a comedic genius. What it has done is made me look at life differently than many. I can sometimes, without thinking (dangerous) blurt out clever little riffs on what's happening in a conversation. Sometimes it's funny and witty. At rare times its funny and absurd. Very ocassionally it's hilarious. But I think that at all times it comes from a place where having lived a life of pain, not continuous but unpredictable, makes me see and feel the hilarity of it all. For me, there is always that element of sadness that comes from suffering that makes something both human and humorous. And let's face it it's much more funny and fun looking at life that way than from that dark corner that I could have backed into. Humor no doubt heals. Given my level of pain right now, I'm going to have to switch on the Comedy Channel right now or better yet watch CNN election watch.
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